If I could’ve been

I would’ve

But I’m not

And I know it.

Dear Heart, let it go

You did grow

But, from my heart it throws:

No

Why do I have to let it go?

No

I say to myself as if I just heard the death of my lover.

Dear heart, why can’t he love her?

Love me.

Him, him, or him.

Dear Heart, oh courage.

Dear heart,

Dear heart.

My heart.

No.

I sit still and I long for what I’ve lost

As if I did something to make it lose.

Did I?

What did I do?

I tried. My best, always

But now:

Dear heart I rehearse in scenes what I did not do…

To make him love me.

What did I do?

No…

A still pain sits as the words drift off my lips. Off my soul.

It whispers

What did I not know?

No…no wait troubled girl:

Dear Heart, let go.

Dear heart, sweet magic heart.

There is so much you could not know. Please

Dear, still stout heart: let it go.

No

A whisper flows

Let him go.

Let love go.

Him and him and him

Let go.

No

Dear, heart

You gotta

You won’t make it, you know.

But, my hurt,

Dear heavy heart

Let go.

No

In shadows it echos:

Always stabs with ebb and flow

No

I can’t

Let it go

I Love him,

with a wild heart

I know.

Courage, Wild heart.

Let it go.

Oh no.

No no

In South Jordan: I left my soul:

To him I let him go.

No

It whispers to my soul

What did I not know?

A troubled heart it aches my soul.

No.

In Milton,

I left my soul.

The biggest love;

I’ll never know.

Let him go.

I can’t make it, my broken soul

The love I did not know.

How cruel his love did sow.

The pain of a love, I’ll never know.

Dear Broken heart,

Please learn to let him go.

So much I can not know.

Dear shattered heart,

Breathe heavy into your soul:

Let it go.

Make an untethered soul

You did not know

Let go.

ragged rhythm heart beats your soul

Let go.

You didn’t know.

Oh how he hurt your soul

That broken rhythm go

On your heart beats broken soul.

Your song will dance and flow.

Let it go

And your sweet incandescent glow

Walk the path you do not know

Of the footsteps you’ll make in snow.

Follow no one you’ve known before

Blaze the trail and leave a soul

Of the heart you’ll never know.

Left to grow

All alone

Dear steady heart, just let it grow

While the world gets sad with cringe

Bridge the pain and be a hinge.

He’s pierced and pinned in every cell

It feels like hell

But, you’ve made a place to grow.

You brought flowers to what he buried.

And you honor it though.

Through sun, rain and snow.

You start to grow

And really know

That you must do love slow.

At measured paces grow

Go be that burning fire phoenix

With a pink hair bow.

Wild, whimsy, irreverent cloak

With fire built by my own stoke.

And reflect on what was never broke

Just too soaked

Now I am dry

and another year will go by

Do I still love his shattered soul?

I still whisper to myself:

Know.

It’s almost no.